FDA warnings concerning casino sales:

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Due to increasing products liability litigation, American casinos have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning
labels be placed in all casino sales departments.

casino sales WARNING 1: The visit to a casino may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

Casino sales WARNING 2: The playing of slot machines may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Casino sales WARNING 3: The playing of poker is a major factor in making you dance like a retard.

Casino sales WARNING 4: The euphoric effect of online gambling may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them when actually all you want is their money.

Casino sales WARNING 5: The roulette wheel spinning round and round may cause you to think you can sing.

casino sales WARNING 6: The trance you get from winning jackpots may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

Casino sales WARNING 7: The clanging bells of a slot may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Casino sales WARNING 8: The effect of getting blackjack 21 may make you think you have magical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

Casino sales WARNING 9: The spinning wheels of casino machines may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

Casino sales WARNING 10: The pleading and begging to get money for gambling is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on your forehead and the forehead of your cat or dog.

Casino sales WARNING 11: The lights on video poker machines may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Casino sales WARNING 12: The allure of keno may lead you to believe you are invisible.

Casino sales WARNING 13: The intoxicating effect of online gambling may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Casino sales WARNING 14: The winning strategies you use may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

Casino sales WARNING 15: The attendance at online casinos may cause pregnancy.

Casino sales WARNING 16: The casino tips you use may cause you think that you can perform circumcisions on newborns.

Casino sales WARNING 17: The wagering at casino tables make cause you to believe that you have more hair on your head when you are in fact bald like a cueball.

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